Dealing with death is really hard for me. I don’t like going
to funerals at all primarily because they are so emotional for me. Over the
years I have had so many patients pass away and on my own I mourn the loss. I
am happy to sit with their family in office and talk, share and grieve yet I
have a hard time getting myself to go to funerals. Recently I had a patient
pass away unexpectedly, this was someone that I have known in excess of 15
years. I was so saddened by his death and felt it deeply. After a few days this
gentleman’s wife came by the office to talk and to donate his hearing aids. We
spent time talking about their life together and the special relationship they
shared. This lovely lady eventually asked if I would come to the memorial
service that was to take place in a few weeks. I said I would come. As I said I
do have a very hard time with these types of events but I said I would be there
and knew that I would go. This last Saturday I put on my best suit and headed
out to the funeral home.
It is amazing what a small community we live in and the way
out lives cross. At this memorial service I ran into patients, friends and acquaintances
that I had no idea were connected to these folks. The celebration of life was
full of stories that amazed me moved me and yes, made me cry. You see this man
was stricken with polio at the age of 9 and was hospitalized for three years
returning to his family at the age of 12. I heard stories of the fierce
determination that he possessed to overcome and be a part of society without
the boundaries of inhibition that polio had rendered in his life. I heard a
beautiful love story set around his love for sailing where he met the love of
his life, his beautiful. I heard of their special life in a cottage community
swimming and sailing and enjoying the company of friends and family, I heard
about their travels to Brazil or the West Coast of Canada. All through this
story I continued to hear about the determination that persisted in this man
that helped him overcome and adapt to life’s challenges and the further
limitations in mobility that afflicted him. It should be no surprise to me that
when he saw me in the context of seeking help with his hearing loss that he
approached this disability with a will to find success and did.
One of the most beautiful parts of the service was when his
wife spoke and shared pictures of their life. Towards the end of the talk she
shared with us his love for airplanes and how he loved to fly. At one point in her
story she shared with us a story, a special experience. Even though this man
was wheelchair bound he wanted so badly to fly an airplane and eventually found
his way into a glider with another pilot. In order to get him into the plane they had to
remove much of the safety equipment that would be of little use to him anyway.
This lovely lady shared the story of his time flying and how the pilot let him
fly and even extended their time significantly given the sheer joy that this
man felt gliding silently through the clouds. When listening to this story many
of us were brought to tears because as his wife shared this was a time in this
mans life where he felt like he was not limited where he felt free. As she
concluded with this story we could all infer our own belief system and how we
viewed death with this visual in our minds. In the end I was lifted up by
having attended this celebration of life being blessed by the experience.
While many have limitations either of mobility, or hearing
or visual acuity etc. it is an important lesson in life to take on that challenge
and find ways to live you r life to the fullest and in the way you choose. This
very specific message is one that we as a company have been communicating this
year through our marketing campaign. The message is to life your life in the
way you choose being empowered to control what you can and in our case this is
about hearing loss and communication. In the end I was honored and blessed to
have experienced this celebration of life, as it was another learning experience
for me. Determination, stubbornness, a
will to succeed can be such a valuable characteristic in life.
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