The Gift

I have written in the past of how our interactions can change lives even through the simple things. The interesting thing is that sometimes by seeing our effect on others we too are forever changed. 

Over the last few years I have been a spectator to the suffering of a couple of people in our community that have suffered with ALS. "Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (also known as Lou Gehrig's disease) is a fatal neurodegenerative disease. People living with the disease become progressively paralyzed due to degeneration of the upper and lower motor neurons in the brain and spinal cord. Eighty per cent of people with ALS die within two to five years of diagnosis– unable to breathe or swallow. Ten per cent of those affected may live for 10 years or longer."( http://www.als.ca/)

I can't really say this was an arms length experience in both cases because a close personal friend was very close to one of the situations and fairly close to another. The point I make is that ALS has been a disease that has been part of my consciousness for some time. The rapid deterioration against impossible odds has been stunning to me. The fact that there is no recovery from this disease is frightening.

Yesterday I got a desperate phone call at my office from the husband of an ALS patient, his wife had lost her hearing suddenly and as a result she was unable to communicate effectively. I have to interject that the ability to communicate with patients suffering from ALS can often be the one positive thing that remains in a body that is deteriorating rapidly. I was called over by one of my staff to see if I could find time in my jam packed day to see this lady. Providentially I had just had a cancellation and I was able to see her that afternoon. 

As these folks came into my office I was moved by the knowledge that the two others there, the husband and the worker were caring for a woman that was dying before their eyes. I don't know how long this woman had been suffering with ALS but she was confined to a motorized wheelchair having lost much of her motor control including limited speech production capability. I could not help but feel a sense of deep sadness for someone I had only encountered seconds ago. I wanted desperately to be able to do something for this woman and her family. I was already thinking that if she had lost her hearing suddenly due to neurological deterioration I could probably loan the family some sort of earphone based amplification system in order to converse with her in her last days. Prescribing a hearing aid would have been taking advantage of a desperate situation. I was ready to take this logical and ethical course of action. As always I chatted for awhile with the patient as well as the accompanying members of her party and could hear their frustrations. 

As I did an Otoscopic examination of the ears I was overjoyed to see that it appeared as though both ears were impacted with wax. With great hope I went about removing the wax from the ears and as one ear cleared there was an expression from the patient that moved me deeply. As simple as this rather benign procedure was the return of hearing to this woman brought her immense joy. By the time I unplugged the other ear her joy had spread to the others and they were all chatting away with big smiles on their faces. I too could barely contain my own happiness. You see with ALS nothing ever gets better, only worse. I suppose the joy in the room was incongruous with the typical response of someone that had their hearing return because of the nature of the disorder and the lack of hope that accompanies ALS. 

As I held my patient's hand while she squeezed it and smiled and communicated joy and thanks I was moved by a mixture of joy and sadness. My job is one that avoids decisions of life and death. I am not involved in life saving procedures but you know what? Even the little things we do in life through our every day interactions can have a profound effect on others and in return we are also changed forever. 

Why Do You Work?

Why do you do what you do? What I mean is, what is the core reason you work in your chosen profession? For the most part, I love my job. I love being an Audiologist. I take great pride in my work. The question as asked however is getting much further to the core of motivation.

About a month ago, I was in Scottsdale, Arizona for a business development conference. Our keynote speaker was from the sports world, Michael (Pinball) Clemons. Pinball, as he is known played football and was electrifying on the field as he amassed the most all purpose yards of any football player in any league over his career. Pinball upon retirement became a coach winning accolades and excelling even there. 

Mr. Clemons moved to the front office some time ago. During his talk to us, he asked us the  question that I asked to open this article. Initially, I thought I had lots of answers to the question but as he went on I realized that he was not referring to the "why" on a peripheral level but the "why" that was core to the question.   In the end he shared with us his "why" and how his "why" defined the career decisions that he made. Pinball revealed to us that his basic core "why" was his family. This man did what he did for his family. Mr. Clemons also shared that he had made a conscious decision along the way to remind himself of this core "why" as he made career decisions. Michael revealed to us that he stepped away from certain roles and career decisions because they were counter to his core "why". When career decisions removed him further from his family he knew that they would not be his choice. It was interesting to hear of his making a conscious effort to keep this value at the forefront in his decision making process. It was interesting to hear how he would leave his cell phone off each day as he drove his children to school to make room for conversation, interesting to hear how he chose to change his career path to keep him closer to home.

As a father of six boys who runs his own business, this line of thinking really spoke to me. As a private practice Audiologist,  why do I do what I do? What are the core values of my business decisions? I can relate to family being the reason that I do what I do. The unfortunate reality of private practice is that vacation time is difficult to schedule into the demands of the profession, yet family is core to the reason I work as I do. Hmmm......   An interesting correlate to having a strong value based motivation for doing what we do is that it tends to influence our businesses in a very positive way. When my patients walk into my office, they see walls covered in pictures of my family, they hear me relate to them personal experiences from family life pertinent to their visit. From this foundation, I have built a business that makes the values that are valuable core to the success of the practice.  If my family is core, I am motivated to make integrity core to my dealings with others because after all, I represent more than myself. If what I do is because I love my family then I need to make compassion a core value in my interactions. You can see where I am going with this.

Preaching values has become a key component in the business world as of late especially in light of the basis of the economic crisis being born out of ruthless self interest and deceit in big business. We hear the terminology so often yet we fail to really consider what values really mean to us in the context of what we do and why we do it.  It would probably be wise for all of us to question our core motivations on a regular and ongoing basis.

Making a difference

Some time ago, I was out of the country attending some industry meetings when I received an interesting phone call. There is nothing that out of the ordinary to say I received a telephone call. What is out of the ordinary was that it was my teenage son. I was not sure up to that point whether or not my children knew that cell phones had the ability to allow one to communicate by live voice one to another. I was sure they thought that the only communication a cell phone was capable of was texting. Even I have fallen into the trap of communicating with my children in my own house through text messaging, I might tell them to turn off the television and go to bed, I might tell them to politely get rid of the neighbourhood kids before I come down and tell them to leave (out loud). I think you get my point.  So when I got an actual phone call from my son I was surprised to say the least. My oldest son Sammy was calling to tell me that he had been on a school trip for one of his classes and was visiting a community agency that helped people find work. While this was interesting the prime reason for the call was to relate to me that he had met one of the staff members that recognized him and that he was my son. This wonderful lady engaged Sammy and shared with him her experience bringing her son into my clinic where I had assessed her child relative to some of the difficulties he was facing at school. The point that she made to Sammy was  that her visit to the clinic had changed her child's life for the positive and also hers as a result. Sammy was obviously moved enough by this experience to call me and relate this fact to me with something akin to pride in his voice.

As I thought about the implications of this experience for my son, it became apparent to me that perhaps Sammy did not really understand that each of us has the ability to affect positive change in the lives of those around us. Sure a teenager has heard the rhetoric but have they really seen the effect of lives changed by their influence. The message I took upon myself to share with Sammy upon my return was that each of us is responsible for our interactions with those around us in every context, work, school, social etc.  Each of us has the power to be a positive influence for change in the lives of those we come in contact with. 

As it happened, this same woman brought her son in to see me with impacted wax in his ears a few weeks later and we were able have a discussion about Sammy's experience and how her willingness to share this positive experience could influence a teenager's view of social responsibility.  I was hopeful that Sammy could learn an important life lesson about how our interactions can influence positive change. What surprised me was that in my discussions this woman volunteered that the class that came in on this field trip was somewhat unruly and disrespectful yet she was impressed by how well behaved Sammy was and how he was respectful in his interaction and engaging while in conversation.  I was obviously trying to teach a lesson that perhaps was already understood on some level by my child.