Reaching Out

Just had lunch with these three beautiful, intelligent, special women. I was invited to join them as they got together do discuss, support and share with one another as well as to further develop a true friendship that has taken ahold. I was humbled in their presence partaking in the generosity of their hearts. While all three are people I consider friends our paths crossed when they each at different times became my patients. Each of these women has been and are on their hearing journey that has led them to the decision for cochlear implantation. While the paths that led each of them have been different there has also been a commonality amongst them. These are strong, determined, intelligent people that have a will to succeed, they are positive thinking fighters, fighting for better hearing.

In this group Tammy was the first to take on this challenge and as her hearing changed she dove in with both feet determined to do better, to be better, to excel. There was going to be no stopping this woman from regaining her ability to use hearing as a part of her life. Tammy was such a success with her implant because of her attitude and hard work as well as her intellect.

Ann was such a similar soul capable and brilliant. Someone who simply had found ways that might seem improbable to navigate the hearing world with a significant hearing impairment. Ann’s stories of strategies for compensating for her loss still make me laugh at the creativity with which she managed life never hiding from her loss but facing it in a bold way. The beauty of this story is that when Ann was considering a Cochlear implant it was Tammy who was such a wonderful and powerful influence in helping Ann to take on this challenge. Interestingly both these individuals have enjoyed great and measureable success with their implants.

Tamara the third individual in this group is another brilliant young woman that amazes me with her accomplishments inspite of her significant hearing impairment that has been a part of her life from birth. From the time I met her I was amazed by her apparent ability to function so “normally” knowing the degree of her loss. I have come to appreciate the tenacity with which this woman approaches life taking on challenges head on not willing to accept the unacceptable. At this meeting both Tammy and Ann were meeting with Tamara to encourage and support her as she had also just had the surgery for a cochlear implant and are going to continue to support her as she follows in their footsteps on this journey to hear.

It was with such joy that I spent my lunch talking with these friends feeling encouraged in my own journey as they shared their experiences. The lessons for me were not necessarily simply about Cochlear implantation but were about life and the goodness of the human soul. The message to me was about being willing to support each other even as total strangers taking the chance to become meaningful friends. Watching these women I have learned about determination, about overcoming about digging deep but most of all about reaching out.

24 Years Of Thanks

Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that has always been a meaningful one in our household. As many of you know, my wife and I have six boys that range in age from 12 to 22. While this holiday is about the Turkey and all the fixings more importantly it is about gratitude and taking stock of our blessings and how fortunate we are. One of our specific family traditions that takes place right before saying grace is that we go around our table with each person present required to share what they are thankful for. We have one simple stipulation that the only thing that can’t be used in Thanksgiving is gratitude for family as we consider that a given. This tradition is one that my boys often groan about but they still expect that it is something that will always take place at Thanksgiving.

I thought I would take this time to share my thoughts of thanks relative to my clinic. October is actually the month that I opened my doors to this clinic in 1993, 24 years later I am amazed at how little I knew about life and people and business way back then. I am so thankful for the clinic that is my home through the week and the patients that have become my family. There are so many patients that have been with me from the beginning or at least from those early days. It is such warmth that I feel when I get to spend time with those that have been with me on this journey. Along this way I have been blessed to have met so many people with so may stories and experiences. I love what I do because of whom I get to do it for. I have also been blessed with a staff that cares for my patients deeply and personally.  From our humble beginnings our clinic has grown. It is rare to go out into the community and not run into a patient or a patient’s family member. I love this.

So while our rule at home for things we are thankful for excludes family I am breaking that rule at work and expressing thanks for the amazing people that have been through the doors of our clinic in the last 24 years.

Comedy Of Errors

“Why does my hearing loss make it so hard to get the punch line in jokes ”? This is a common question that I have heard quite often from my patients. Well there is a reasonable explanation that is related to the hearing loss. You see there are several factors that affect how we understand involved in the telling of a joke. Now I am no expert on comedy but there are a few things that I think we can all see readily that affect whether we think something strikes us as funny or not. So the main body or the set up of the joke may be easy enough to follow as it seems to make sense and the words connect almost in story telling fashion however the punch line is meant to take us by surprise, it is supposed to be unexpected and not easily predicted. Some comics would deliver the punch line in a quieter voice or almost under their breath perhaps a mumble. This delivery style is with purpose and adds to the humor. Sometimes it is not only delivered more softly than normal conversation but also a little bit quicker in order to keep the listener off balance. The point is that all of these elements of joke telling can make it very difficult for the listener that has a hearing loss to follow and hear/understand the punch line. The hearing impaired listener may just laugh along whether they get the joke or not and hope that they are laughing in the right place.

For those that do not have a hearing loss but do spend time with those that do perhaps this is something that was not understood. The hearing impaired often feel less than fully capable in certain situations and may prefer not to be in that position where they struggle. No one wants to be viewed as someone that doesn’t “get it”. So the next time you want to go out with your significant other , family member, friend, or coworker etc.  that has a hearing loss perhaps it may be best to avoid the comedy clubs.

The First Five (You only have one chance to make a first impression)

When you walk into a clinic of any sort that you have never been to before what do you expect, what do you wish for, what matters most? In those first five minutes of your appointment what can make the most difference to you relative to your reasons for being in that clinic. When you walk in do you want to be given reading materials about the clinic, a video to watch about the process or procedure you are there for etc. Would you like to have your first five minutes be information based?

I would like to share my approach to the first five minutes That I spend with my patient and why.

When ever I walk into a new Doctors office I wonder what they are like, will they be friendly, approachable and interactive, or will they be clinical and detached. My first five mins. as a patient is often spent sizing up who I am with and I tend to make that decision fairly quickly. Because of my own awareness of how I view my first five mins. in a clinical space I have come up with a purposeful approach to the first five mins. in my office.

The first few moments in my office are typically affected by my four second rule. The four second rule states that:

“no one can enter the premises of The Ear Company and spend more than 4 seconds without being greeted in a friendly manner and given direction as to their next steps” as an addendum to this ruling the patient is to be treated in a “hospitable” manner offered tea or coffee or water or some of our ever existent snacks. Understand that I am being a bit silly in stating this reality in this manner but this is an important element of patient engagement. Once the patient has filled out their paperwork and are waiting for their appointment I would typically find a moment to step into the waiting room area and have a short introductory conversation and inform them that there may be a short wait if we are not yet ready for them. Sometimes this turns into a longer conversation about topics we share in common.

When I bring the patient into my testing and assessment area I consider those first few minutes to be the most important time I spend with them. The first few minutes we spend in becoming comfortable with one another getting to know each other. The confidence my patient develops in me has so much to do with that time of dialogue. In these few minutes we are in the “get to know each other phase” where we find commonalities and begin to develop a relationship. It is in this time that the patient begins to tell me their story. One of the key discussion points at this time is why they have come as revealed through their own words. This casual time of taking a case history tells the clinician much about the motivating factors of the patient and how much self realization is inherent. It is through this interactive process that the patient identifies the challenges they face.  I always tell my patients that I can really only help help them with the problems they themselves are aware of but sometimes they need help in talking through their own understandings.

There are all kinds of programs that are provided to offices like mine to have a third party standardized  use of the first five minutes where the patient watches a video or is given material to read while waiting for their appointment etc. . While this approach many be useful to some in communicating their intended message my thinking on this is very different. I believe that those first five minutes are an opportunity to make an impression with intent. I compare this to meeting someone socially or going on a first date. The first five minutes should be spent in getting to know each other and getting a sense of each other. It is our need to have some kind of commonality with each other that often drive those initial conversations. We are far more comfortable with each other when we find something that we have in common.   The saying that we have only one chance to make a first impression is ultimately true and needs to be something that we think about and keep at the top of mind.